Twerkin’ 101: A Guide for the Booty Shaker within Us All
On September 10th, Kreayshawn (of “Gucci Gucci” fame) released her single “Twerkin!!!” An anthem to the physics-defying phenomenon that has swept a generation, “Twerkin!!!” shows the attitude that twerkin’ embodies: a shameless and fierce need to show everyone your booty’s superpowers.
The origin of twerkin’ is murky, but many scholars agree that the video for “Twerk” by Lady brought the dance craze into the mainstream. Many have since released songs engineered to allow twerkin’. True twerkers, however, will find any situation appropriate for twerkin’, such as listening to indie rock or shopping at Wal-Mart.
As a professor in Twerk Theory and a founding member of CUTwerk Team, I have formed a comprehensive guide so you can learn the noble art. Let’s get started!
Preparations MUST be taken to ensure maximum potential and safety. “Better safe than sorry” is always the motto when one’s twerkin’ capacity is at risk.
• Daily stretching will increase your flexibility, which will prove useful for more advanced twerking techniques.
• Meditate. Think of your booty as an extension of yourself. This will prevent the power of your booty from becoming consumed by the power of twerk.
• Build your glutes by doing booty-flexes throughout the day. This will give you total control over your twerk.
• Avoid strenuous cardio like long-distance running. These types of exercises don’t focus on your booty and will reduce the mass of your ass.
• Find the perfect outfit. Booty shorts that don’t cover your booty. Skimpy outfits that show off some skin. If you’re feeling adventurous, try some of the outfits that the twerkers wear in Lady’s video. Once you do, please let me know where you found them, because I’ve been searching everywhere.
You are now ready to begin!
• Choose a position. The default twerk stance is legs spread apart, knees bent, and back straight. Try more advanced positions, such as propping yourself against a wall, doing the splits, or going mobile and twerkin’ across the dance floor.
• The Booty Clap: This move focuses on popping the lower back, allowing your booty to clap on beat.
• Around the World: Use your lower back to trace an O-shape with your booty. If you are feeling daring, complete multiple rotations in one beat.
• Brick Break: In a half split, use your legs to bring your booty into the air, and then slam it down into a full split. The power of this technique should be able to break bricks.
• Improvise: Twerkin’ is an art open to interpretation. Do whatever your heart/booty tells you.
Cooling down is essential in order to build technique without endangering future twerking endeavors.
• Never go from full-twerk to zero-twerk immediately
• Drink water. Avoid cold water, because you are still too hot to handle, and the cold water will put your body into a state of shock.
• Bask in the attention. You are now royalty and non-twerkers will be groveling at your feet.
Now go on, Twerk Apprentice. The world is your dance floor.
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