The Eye | Dec. 5 5:34 pm EST

Strategies to wake the F up

Don’t let the festive lights and fun red Starbucks cups fool you. The time of darkness is quickly approaching. As the days get shorter and colder, and our sheets get cozier, it can be nearly impossible to get up and be productive. Here are some foolproof strategies for waking up to face the dreary winter days ahead.

1. Set your iHome alarm to the 1812 Overture at an astounding volume.

2. Leave your window slightly open, so you’ll be able to hear the 8 a.m. “Tranformers”-esque drilling outside on the street. 

3. Paint extended passages from Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” on the ceiling above your bed to guilt you into action.

4. Drink an unhealthy amount of water before bed each night. Your bladder’s fury will be your new alarm clock.

5. Sign up for the same 9 a.m. class as your crush. Hopefully, the desperate drive not to die alone will overpower the comfort of your lonely bed.




  1. AGAIN? • December 5, 2012 at 6:14 pm • Reply

    again with the stupid eye frontpage article that was so poorly written

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  2. No.2 • December 5, 2012 at 7:11 pm • Reply

    definitely works, but you’ll feel terrible the entire day.

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  3. No 5 • December 5, 2012 at 8:14 pm • Reply

    I actually did have a crush on a guy in my 9 AM class, which for the first month and a half resulted in me getting up half an hour earlier than usual to make sure hair, makeup, and outfit were all in place. Something had to give when the semester started getting crazy – so I gave up on having a crush. Sweatpants FTW!

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  4. More on No 5 • December 5, 2012 at 8:28 pm • Reply

    But, what if “the crush” doesnt’ show up?

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  5. No 6 • December 5, 2012 at 8:33 pm • Reply

    Bring in a boot camp sergeant. :-)

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  6. Anonymous • December 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm • Reply

    “Leave your window slightly open” -> Won’t get out of bed because room is too cold, and it’s so warm in bed

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    • Anonymous • December 6, 2012 at 3:37 am • Reply

      literally my struggle every morning

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