For some reason, I am absolutely incapable of studying in libraries. Butler’s glorious, high-vaulted ceilings and sacred silence may have been awe-inspiring to my naïve, prospie eyes. But now … they make me cringe.

Nonetheless my work has to get done somehow, and I live in Carman—so it sure as hell ain’t happening in my room. Recently, I’ve taken to working in cafés: Joe, Hungarian, and Max (on 123 and Amsterdam).

Last week, however, I felt overcome by a Faustian urge to forgo the dank, enclosed space of a café and study instead in a wide-open, well-lit place: the great outdoors.

And by great outdoors I mean Butler lawn, of course.

So I grabbed my copy of Pride and Prejudice, put on my most stunning pair of stunna shades ($4.99 people—see if you can beat that) and plopped myself down on the greenest, grassiest patch I could find on that lawn. I could feel the sun warming my limbs, I felt hip reading Jane Austen while wearing sunglasses, and I was in a good place. A very, very good place.

Pretty soon, though, I realized that I did have one problem: I wasn’t getting any reading done.

There’s just something about grass and sunlight and happy people playing Frisbee that kills all motivation to work. Eventually, I stopped my people watching, removed my shades, and took my copy of Pride and Prejudice back to Carman.

And guess what? I got substantially more reading done. In Carman.

I guess my lawn days are over.