Posts Tagged ‘Columbia Oscars’

Opinion | Feb. 26 7:46 pm EST
Red Carpet

The Columbia Oscars

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

While the glitz and glam of the Oscars is currently going on at the Kodak theater in L.A., the rest of campus is probably unaware of the ceremony that went down last night in Low.

Last year’s Athletic’s Awards Show was such a resounding success, that administration decided to extend the program to the University at large.

After a roaring opening musical number from host Professor de Bary, here were some of the highlights:

Best Supporting Actor: The NYPD officer who posed as a member of the MSA – “Thanks guys. When the NYPD wanted me to infringe on basic civil liberties so much, I never thought I could play a role like that, but white water rafting? What a blast! This award is just icing on the cake. Wait…this isn’t laced with anthrax or explosives, right?!?”

Best Actress: Hurricane Irene – (The entire crowd in attendance immediately ran screaming out of Low at this point, overrunning Westside and buying up every canned good and battery in sight.) “Wait, where’s everyone going?!? I thought the COOP and move-in day “postponements” are why I’m winning this award! (After a 10-minute delay, the ceremony continued after one of the custodians was able to clean up all of Irene’s damage with a small broom and dust bin.) More »

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