The one eleven
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It’s late. You’re up. BREAKING NEWS: Obama made a speech five years ago! And this speech was RACIST, because he suggested that the U.S. government has occasionally mistreated black people! The nerve of this man—and after all we’ve done for him! At Spectrum, we have changed our minds about President Barack Hussein Obama.
Get what you pay for: Rapper Machine Gun Kelly was invited to perform at a Microsoft Store. Upon arrival, he promptly began stomping on laptops and rapping “fuck these computers.” Reached for comment about Kelly’s performance, President Obama said it was “right in line” with his goal of destroying the American economy.
Don’t be evil: The good news—Google will alert you if you’re being targeted by state-sponsored cyber attacks. The bad news—Google apparently won’t alert you if you’re targeted by a Kenyan socialist bent on destroying America.
You’re no Gandhi: India paid tribute to the memory of Mahatma Gandhi today, because it was supposedly his birthday. But just like President Obama, he never released his long-form birth certificate, so who really knows?
Yeah Wright: Tucker Carlson released a video today in which President Obama can be heard giving a shout-out to his then pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and praising Wright’s church. This is obviously a manufactured controversy—the only church Obama goes to is the Church of the Secret Muslim.
…and a funny video:
We agree with this man!