We’re liveblogging Orgo Night!
We thought it would be fun if we liveblogged our experiences the night before the Organic Chemistry final, so here we are!
Neither of us is taking the final, but we are very empathetic people and are going through a lot of emotions. We needed someone to share them with so tonight, that lucky someone is you.
Come join us, the Columbia University Marching Band, and a ton of inebriated or sleep deprived students (the verdict’s still out on that one) in Butler 209 at 12:00 for ORGO NIGHT!
12:50 a.m.: And that’s the end folks! Other students are yelling at us to shut up, so we’re out of here. Thank you for reading our liveblog and goodnight!
12:47 a.m.: No bookcases were broken in this live blog. A little disappointed about the lack of Columbia coverage, but pretty funny stuff overall. And Butler 209 is now basically empty, so come and get your study space and cot for tonight!
12:45 a.m.: And that’s the end! We’ll have final thoughts in a minute or two.
12:41 a.m.: People are walking out during the band’s study tips for the orgo exam. APPARENTLY, people are not actually here to study. WTF, people?!?
12:40 a.m. The band is playing “The Final Countdown.”
12:39 a.m.: “It’s time we all joined together in solidarity, CC and BC, GS and SEAS, and directed our vile rhetoric at a common enemy: How about those fuckers at JTS?” No boos for that one. Looks like we have a new enemy!
12:38 a.m.: Sara suggests a bodily fluid drinking game! I don’t want to know what that means.
12:37 a.m. I’m sorry, I’m being informed that that was actually the 433rd reference to bodily fluids.
12:36 a.m.: For the first time tonight, references are made to bodily fluids.
12:35 a.m.: Lots of cheers for “our first secret Muslim president” speaking at Barnard. “The President’s best nights at Columbia were probably spent at Barnard.” Or something like that.
12:33 a.m.: Some girl here is halfheartedly videotaping the back of someone’s t-shirt.
12:30 a.m.: CU Dems just got booed down after trying to start a “CU Dems” chant. Columbia is truly bipartisan in its wanting people to shut the hell up.
12:29 a.m.: On CUCR drama: “Or maybe they wanted to pull an April Fool’s joke one month early, marking the first time since the Civil War that Republicans have been ahead of the curve.”
12:26 a.m. Oh and now they’re making fun of us. Both “Bwog” and “Spec” are one letter away from being racist slurs. And jokes about the CUCR scandal.
12:25 a.m.: A handful of people are leaving, perhaps for Midnight Breakfast. It will still be there for you after this is over, folks! (Won’t it?)
12:24 a.m.: Mixed responses to a joke panning “Call me maybe,” but everyone dances along as the band plays it during their musical interlude.
12:23 a.m.: “Seriously though, can we stop complaining about this concert every year, you over-educated Goldilockses? Oh, this band’s too hairy, this band’s too hipster, this band’s two douche bags with saxophones.”
12:21 a.m. The band postulates that Whitney Houston was the original headliner for Bacchanal. Lot of groans and “Too soons!” The jokes about forcible sodomy are fine, but this Whitney Houston stuff is OFFENSIVE, people!
12:20 a.m. “This year’s Bacchanal was super-fun, wasn’t it? Well, not superfun in the “Oh man, I love and have heard of this band!” kind of way—more in the “I’m burying my disappointment in a bottle of Colt 45 …at four in the afternoon!” kind of way. Of course, a lot of folks were baffled by the “Baccha90s” theme, considering that none of this year’s artists generated any music or even had pubic hair during the ‘90s.”
12:19 a.m. Sara is attempting to tickle Peter Sterne’s ankle. I don’t know why.
12:18 a.m.: The band is now playing Toxic. I heard on NPR that this is one of the most important songs of its decade. I’m serious. Also, Sara’s dance moves continue to embarrass us all.
12:17 a.m.: And the bashing of other Ivies has begun. Also, talk of anal sex. They’re using cruder terms than I’m using. You’re welcome, Columbia.
12:16 a.m.: We’ve found Waldo! 10 points to anyone else here who finds him. Also, the band is really enjoying using the phrase “shit, piss, and vomit” over and over again.
12:15 a.m.: Now they’re talking about the Dartmouth frat scandal. “But the most damning accusation of all was that pledges in the Dartmouth chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon had to swim in a kiddie pool full of shit, piss, and vomit. As some of you may have read, SAE will be coming to Columbia next year. So for a few lucky audience members: your swim test just got a whole lot worse.”
12:13 a.m.: “[Invisible Children founder Jason] Russell’s wife explained her husband’s bizarre behavior as a side effect of “stress and exhaustion.” Lady, if that’s what people do when they’re stressed and exhausted, we’d be whipping our dicks out on College Walk 24/7. Sounds like Stressbusters should be rubbing more than our backs, if you know what we mean…we mean penises.”
12:12 a.m.: KONY is so one month and 15 million Facebook events ago.
12:11 a.m. And after some controversial AIDS and midget jokes, they’re busting out the guaranteed laugh-getter: jokes about public masturbation.
12:11 a.m.: “Of course, Columbia, being the most protesty school in the Ivy League, isn’t one to pass up a chance at social activism. Fortunately for these would-be radicals, the Internet now exists, which makes saving the world as easy as signing a Change.org petition. It’s all becoming clear to us: the Spirit of ‘68 isn’t dead…it’s just playing Draw Something.”
12:10 a.m.: Enough of the world affairs, there’s plenty of drama happening right here at Columbia. Let’s get to the GS and Obarnard stuff already. Also, an AIDS joke just got some boos. Edgy stuff here, folks.
12:08 a.m.: The band is now talking about the Invisible Children viral video, saying caring about it all these years later is like “when people started giving a shit about Arrested Development in 2009.”
12:07 a.m.: Sara is really getting down right now. She has some crazy dance moves. JK it is seriously embarrassing.
12:06 a.m.: Why so much politics? I thought I was at Orgo Night, not MSNBC. They’re now playing “Don’t take me home tonight” in honor of Republicans or something.
12:06 a.m.: Outgoing University Senator Jose Robledo is currently giving me a back massage.
12:05 a.m. Can’t see anything. BRB, gonna go climb on top of the drummer’s shoulders.
12:04 a.m. Band starts off with a piece about the war on women. “As for abortion, or, as the Band refers to it, the “ctrl-z” of sex…”
12:02 a.m.: If one more person asks me if I’m trying to do work during Orgo Night, I am going to cry. See the sacrifices we make for you, readers. The band’s getting started on its thing here.
12:00 a.m.: Playing the fight song in techno form. Tiesto just walked in. Just kidding, he’s still at Spring Fling (not bitter about Bacchanal at all).
11:59 p.m. The band is playing outside. People are cheering! Here they come! One of them is wearing a tutu! They are performing the fight song! No triangle player in sight — Sara has found her calling.
11:59 p.m.: Side note: Stephen just got into a mosh pit fight while Sara watched. We hope he gets rescued, but Sara’s funnier anyway.
11:56 p.m.: Sara thinks they were chanting “Sweaty smells.” Side note: Sara is dumb.
11:55 p.m.: Fight song just began, and now people are chanting “2012!” Yes, it is 2012. Why are we chanting this? Oh well. I will join in! 2012! 2012! 2012!
11:54 p.m.: We’ve been joined by Bwog’s own Peter Sterne! This is exciting.
11:53 p.m.: CUMB join us in 209 for some hot, sweaty fun! No, James Franco didn’t just walk into 209, Orgo Night is about to begin.
11:50 p.m.: Someone is wearing a construction helmet. Sara’s very excited about this. “Shit’s about to get real,” she claims. Also, we’ve arrived at an uneasy truce with regard to the tagbar.
11:48 p.m.: People need to chill with the Mobile Uploads. Four people spotted taking pictures of the heads of the people standing in front of them.
11:47 p.m.: Hahaha I changed the tagbar (the blue bar next to the headline). I’m going to leave it like that until my co-blogger yells at me to change it.
11:44 p.m.: It’s funny seeing so much of Columbia in one room. I wonder if the two girls with pink hair are going to fight.
11:41 p.m.: One point for CCSC, zero points for CULPA. CCSC hands out cute quotes and candy, CULPA hands out sad white sheets that say “Opener course evaluations.” What does that even mean?
11:37 p.m.: To all of the people with books still open, if you can’t take the fun, get out of 209. That includes this person sitting at the table with us. To the Lighthouse is not worth it.
11:36 p.m.: The zombie playground has transformed into the new Campo. And with 2 Public Security officers already spotted, the door tonight is going to be tough.
11:33 p.m.: Haha just kidding I stole a chair of my own! Now I am liveblogging in style.
11:32 p.m.: To the asshole who was stealing chairs earlier — you suck. Signed, someone who is sitting on the floor.
11:29 p.m.: Public Safety is here, and someone has decided that it’s now ok for people to start talking. The hour must be drawing near!
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