It’s late. You’re up. Perhaps one perfect day, Wednesday nights will be completely care-free, with no papers or exams or classes the next day.

That is not exactly tonight, although we’re going to do our best to forget that in the next two minutes.

Actual News

Crazy shit

Just wrong: Date My School thinks that Columbia women don’t measure up in a national collegiate “hotness ratio.”

You can’t be too careful: Cheetos can cause all kinds of problems, as one high school administrator found out.

Forbidden love: A student at Oakland University who wrote about his attraction to a professor in an assignment claims he was unjustly barred from campus.

Cats are weird: If felines were fonts, they would look something like this.

Happy news

Love: The first same-sex couple to be married on the Empire State Building got hitched on Tuesday!

For your entertainment

America’s finest news source reacts to the president’s harsh words.
In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama’s Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation