Last week you learned about the I’m-not-a-hipster Hipster, the friend (or enemy) you’ve never seen without a fedora, weird scarf, or obnoxious apathetic spirit. Today we discuss the person practically everyone hates, the Question Asker.

You know who I’m talking about. We all know that person in class who makes you want to say, “Oh, I didn’t know we got a new professor. I bet nobody ever thought about the similarities between The Aeneid and The Inferno, maybe you should teach the class…LOL NOT.”

What you’ll hear them say

The Statement Question (said at random, not in response to anything): “Correct me if I’m wrong, but…[insert useless statement here that somehow uses the term 'heteronormative' or 'social construct'].”

The Personal Anecdote That is Obviously Not a Question: “You know, Don Quixote’s independent spirit really reminds me of this time when my sister and I were on the playground and…” Okay who am I kidding, it’s always the GS students, “You know, this scene with Aeneas really reminds me of the day in 1985 when Ronald Reagan and I were playing shuffleboard…”

The Unrelated Question: “So I know we’re talking about friction, but is this at all related to quantum mechanics?”

The I’m Really Smart Question: “Umm shouldn’t that formula have a negative sign? And aren’t I the most observant person in the class?”

What they look like

They are either the person in the front whose hand is practically paralyzed in the raised position, or they’re the person who’s older than the professor.

Where you can observe them in their natural habitat

Pretty much in any class you take at Columbia. For the insecure, approval seeking ones, go to the humanities classes. I hear Lit Hum is one of the best places to spot the Q.A. in action.

I’m more a fan of the showoffs you find in the science courses. The few weeks I spent in Honors Math were by far some of the best days of people watching ever (somebody actually asked the professor if they could prove a formula on the board).