It’s late. You’re up. Orgo night has come and gone, and all that lays before us are finals. To all those who have 9 a.m. finals in several hours (myself included), good luck! I won’t even bother telling you to go to bed—I probably won’t. Now, some diversions.

Actual News

Russia: Russia’s top military official, Nikolai Makarov, announced today that if the United States goes ahead with a plan to build a missile shield, Russia will start a pre-emptive strike on NATO missile defense facilities in Eastern Europe.

Gingrich: Even though he suspended his campagin on Wednesday, Newt Gingrich is still insisting that Romney was not truthful during the primaries. However, he says he will still support him as the Republican candidate since he is the best option.

Funsies

Obama pick-up tips: Taking from the selection of a new Obama biography published in today’s Vanity Fair, Gawker has boiled down our president’s first serious relationship into “The 4-Step Barack Obama Seduction Technique.”

Britney: If you saw “Spears” and are now realizing how much Britney Spears has been missing from your life (or you were aware of it all along), you need to read through and watch possibly the most important blog post of our time.

And now, I leave you with this video. If you suddenly start weeping at any point during finals, just follow this model: