Stay strong, stay caffeinated
It’s late. You’re up. Toss your textbooks aside and go to sleep.
Reality check: As the comments on this Pew Research Center study indicate, millennials continue to captivate all who find them apathetic and narcissistic. Baby boomers, put the judgment on pause and take a selfie—that displeased pout works wonders for your cheekbones.
Daylight saving whine: That lost hour of sleep started out as a joke, after Benjamin Franklin’s realization that an early riser uses fewer candles—which further validates my need for a “sarcasm” font.
The gift of emotional manipulation: As CBS stalwart “How I Met Your Mother” enters the homestretch, theorists predict the long-awaited Mother’s death. In other news, I’ve wasted nine years of my life. Here’s to futility!
The end: In a “Charlie bit my finger!” spoof, the Hemsworth brothers found themselves in Meryl Streep’s divine presence. Chris and Liam, you better count your blessings.
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