Spectrum | Sep. 18 2:51 pm EST
HANGING CHADS

Advice for student council parties on names, platforms

If you missed yesterday’s CCSC roundup, you missed some hilarious party names for the class of 2016 council candidates. Our favorites were Columbia Tuition is Too Damn High, Ball So Hard, YOVO (You Only Vote Once), and The Puppy Party.

In case you feel like casting your ballot for a write-in, here are a few (not technically real, but wait till next year) alternative parties:

  • The Radical PENIS (People Everywhere Need Improved Schedules)
  • Prezbo’s Hair (because we’re for real!)
  • The ‘As You Can See From Our Fliers, Our Party Is Quite Ethnically Diverse’ Party (fliers to come later)
  • The 1% (this party name was chosen in an effort to be inclusive of everyone at Columbia)
Ok, but what about the real parties? What might we find in their platforms? We make some educated guesses after the jump!

Columbia Tuition is Too Damn High

Platform: Bring Jimmy McMillian to campus to yell at us about starving children and Agent Orange. If this is not feasible, have Herman Cain come to campus and sing the Pokemon song again.

Ball So Hard (with president Ankeet Ball)

Platform: Kanye West is vice president. That is all. If this is not feasible, Ke$ha gets the Veep spot.

YOVO (You Only Vote Once)

Platform: Cut down on rampant voter fraud in CCSC elections, we assume.

The Puppy Party

Platform: Bring puppies to campus more regularly, rather than just during finals week. If this is not feasible, make the whole year finals week so that there are always puppies on campus.

Who are you voting for?

COMMENTS (4)

  1. CC16 • September 18, 2012 at 3:19 pm • Reply

    YOVO! They haven’t promised anything. Therefore no chance for a let-down

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    • Manoj • October 23, 2012 at 9:21 am • Reply

      Karen – The photos are just too exstuqiie for words Paula!!! Thanks for your great work you made their day even more special now!!Marilyn

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    • kicondy • October 24, 2012 at 12:07 am • Reply

      MExTeb xtmoroapmezu

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  2. dqueezy • September 18, 2012 at 6:01 pm • Reply

    i’m starting my own party.

    ain’t no party like a liz lemon party cuz a liz lemon party is MANDATORY.

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)

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