Advice for student council parties on names, platforms
If you missed yesterday’s CCSC roundup, you missed some hilarious party names for the class of 2016 council candidates. Our favorites were Columbia Tuition is Too Damn High, Ball So Hard, YOVO (You Only Vote Once), and The Puppy Party.
In case you feel like casting your ballot for a write-in, here are a few (not technically real, but wait till next year) alternative parties:
- The Radical PENIS (People Everywhere Need Improved Schedules)
- Prezbo’s Hair (because we’re for real!)
- The ‘As You Can See From Our Fliers, Our Party Is Quite Ethnically Diverse’ Party (fliers to come later)
- The 1% (this party name was chosen in an effort to be inclusive of everyone at Columbia)
Columbia Tuition is Too Damn High
Platform: Bring Jimmy McMillian to campus to yell at us about starving children and Agent Orange. If this is not feasible, have Herman Cain come to campus and sing the Pokemon song again.
Ball So Hard (with president Ankeet Ball)
Platform: Kanye West is vice president. That is all. If this is not feasible, Ke$ha gets the Veep spot.
YOVO (You Only Vote Once)
Platform: Cut down on rampant voter fraud in CCSC elections, we assume.
The Puppy Party
Platform: Bring puppies to campus more regularly, rather than just during finals week. If this is not feasible, make the whole year finals week so that there are always puppies on campus.
Who are you voting for?
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