It’s late. You’re up. Today was a big (if predictable) day for American politics. Let’s go over what happened and check in on other news (be warned: after the jump, there’s a pretty gross picture!).

Actual News

Looking for the hat trick: Mitt Romney is the first non-incumbent Republican ever to win both the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary. The most recent polling in South Carolina, the next state to vote, has him in first place there as well. Pundits say there’s an opening for a Romney alternative to win in the Palmetto State, however, due to the importance voters there have traditionally placed candidates’ social conservatism.

Can Huntsman continue? Ron Paul took second place in tonight’s voting, surprising some observers who had expected Jon Huntsman to surge into the number two spot. Huntsman’s disappointing finish is expected to make things difficult for him: He’s at the very bottom of the polls in South Carolina and Florida, the next two states to vote.

This is gross: This dead rat was apparently found in a Bronx Foot Locker store.

Teachers hate going to class, too: A Manhattan high school teacher faked jury duty to get out of having to teach her students. She was caught when the note she provided was found to be rife with misspellings.

Night work: Over the next several months, some subway lines will be shut down at night for repairs and work on the tracks. The 4/5/6 stopped running after 10 p.m. last night.

Bank robbery: An 73 year old Arkansas woman was forced to rob a bank after a man broke into her home and strapped a device to her body that he claimed was a bomb. Police later found that the device was not actually a bomb.

The end is near: The Doomsday Clock has moved one minute closer to midnight. The scientists who oversee the symbolic clock say that they made the move because of “inadequate progress” on work to better control nuclear weapons. The time on the clock is now 11:55 p.m. At midnight, presumably, we’re all dead.

…and a funny video

This guy was really a candidate in today’s NH primary, and he really got almost 800 votes. Best quote of the video: “It’s not even about DNA gene splicing to create a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies!”