Spectrum | Aug. 9 11:33 am EST
Freshman 15

Prefrosh problems

Courtesy of Courtland Thomas

For the class of 2016 (and the rest of Columbia), we present the Freshman 15a series of posts that will offer some guides to life at Columbia, catch you up on news you’ve missed, and let us get to know some of the interesting incoming faces. Today, we hear from one incoming first-year on his thoughts about coming to Columbia.

It’s hard for a prefosh to think of something to write about for Spec. It’s almost harder than picking up the Iliad and actually suffering through the first 12 books, or completing the required Alcohol Education online course.

Why it’s hard might seem obvious. You watch as fellow prefosh ask questions, and some try to answer each other on the Facebook group, often without successful results. Occasionally maybe a sage upperclassman will pop in with seemingly infinite knowledge about every little thing, served with a healthy dose of cynicism. You surf through CULPA, even though the classes you’re dying to take will no doubt be either scooped by a sophomore at the last minute, or become unmanageable once you’re smacked with the 9 a.m. Monday/Wednesday section of Lit Hum (God bless you).

As a prefosh, you may not comprehend enough about Columbia to become Spec’s ace reporter, but you begin to understand the culture at Columbia. At least, better than you thought you did when that acceptance letter transformed into an acceptance fee. You subscribe to the updates from Bwog (but you still don’t recognize the trolling in the comment section). You get no notifications from Columbia about anything you need to know—SSOL notifications and financial aid form deadlines (something about the “bureaucracy,” whatever that means). You hear about all the perfect schedules your high school friends have constructed at their schools, but you won’t hear anything about your preregistered University Writing section until NSOP kicks off.

On the topic of NSOP, you find yourself searching for archived schedules of Orientations past, configuring plans in order to avoid saying goodbye to your parents too soon—or looking for ways to sneak onto the 1 train and venture across the length of the island with your rebellious buddies. You’re already thinking of places to try downtown when Havana Central rejects the fake ID you scavenged from a total creep in a dimly-lit room near Times Square. You’re filing a letter of complaint to Housing signed with just the right teaspoon of entitlement (they shacked you up with someone of the opposite gender). You’ve scoped the Bulletin like it’s the Bible, submitted your picture for your student ID, and shipped empty envelopes to your shiny new Lerner mailbox just to see if it works.

On one hand, you may not be a real Columbia student yet—but, for just the tiniest moment, you’re also not just the prefosh everyone makes you out to be.

Courtland Thomas is an incoming member of the Columbia College class of 2016. He is from Stuart, Fla. Some people think he looks like Barack Obama.

COMMENTS (25)

  1. Anonymous • August 9, 2012 at 11:57 am • Reply

    oh god…

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  2. Nice! • August 9, 2012 at 11:59 am • Reply

    He knows more than I did when I was a prefrosh, anyway.

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    Rating: +10 (from 28 votes)
  3. Anonymous • August 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm • Reply

    who cares

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  4. yo • August 9, 2012 at 12:44 pm • Reply

    prefrosh are adorbs

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    Rating: +15 (from 39 votes)
  5. Anonymous • August 9, 2012 at 12:45 pm • Reply

    Congratulations! You will love Columbia!

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    Rating: +16 (from 34 votes)
  6. This dqueezy sure is cheesy • August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm • Reply

    It has occurred, they have begun to enter, they have even infiltrated our publications

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    Rating: +13 (from 19 votes)
    • dqueezy • August 14, 2012 at 10:53 am • Reply

      Thanks friend!

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  7. you guys • August 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm • Reply

    this is actually really cute

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  8. Prefrosh to Prefrosh • August 9, 2012 at 1:54 pm • Reply

    This couldnt be more accurate (:

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  9. Anonymous • August 9, 2012 at 3:23 pm • Reply

    I think he’s cuter than Obama <3

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  10. Call it as I see it • August 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm • Reply

    These comments are fake. Too nice and stupid.

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  11. Wait... • August 9, 2012 at 6:23 pm • Reply

    I TOTALLY thought this was an upperclassman writing about what prefrosh will experience until I got to the end. Damnnnn

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  12. PrezNope • August 10, 2012 at 12:18 am • Reply

    Oh dear God is this going to be a thing? Columbia was a better place when prefrosh didn’t know everything going in. The idea of these “self-aware but still uncynical” freshman makes me want to vomit all over Ancel Plaza.

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  13. CC '12 • August 10, 2012 at 1:52 am • Reply

    :) Good luck these next four years! You’ll do great!

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  14. Anonymous • August 10, 2012 at 8:20 am • Reply

    as a barnard student who would have LOVED to have been assigned to read the masterpiece that is the illiad instead of the piece-of-crap book barnard gave us, I think you people should stop complaining about a little summer reading. then again, I’m an english major, so maybe I’m biased.

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    • bc '14 • August 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm • Reply

      stfu no one cares.

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    • dqueezy • August 14, 2012 at 10:56 am • Reply

      maybe YOU should stop complaining. read it on your own if you want to so badly! (spoiler alert: agamemnon suxxxxxxxx)

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    • bc'12 • August 17, 2012 at 10:33 am • Reply

      oh my god not more girls like you. last thing barnard needs.

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  15. Oh hai durr... • August 12, 2012 at 7:47 pm • Reply

    Youngbama.

    I’m out!!

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  16. So • August 13, 2012 at 2:20 am • Reply

    well-written. Welcome!
    I still feel like a prefrosh :)

    CC’15

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  17. Prefrosh • August 13, 2012 at 10:35 pm • Reply

    All these comments are totally going against what everyone tells you about Columbia. I wonder when the cynicism sets in?

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    • Anon • August 14, 2012 at 6:21 pm • Reply

      Oh don’t worry, the cynicism will be there the moment NSOP ends, if not before.

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  18. dqueezy • August 14, 2012 at 10:54 am • Reply

    so cute! cant wait to meet them …. except stay away from 1020

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  19. Anonymous • August 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm • Reply

    love the guy who preach on the one train

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  20. anon • August 26, 2012 at 2:19 am • Reply

    Absolutement parfait. Love it. Does the 1 stop near a Crumbs…? ;)

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