It’s late. You’re up. But look on the bright side— it’s the weekend and you’re currently chilling in the awesome chronological sweet spot that is Friday night/Saturday morning.

Actual News

Royally ticked off: Scandal erupted in England today, as an unsuspecting public learned that future queen Kate Middleton has breasts. Though the Royal Family is planning to sue the publisher of the racy photos, they’re already all over Twitter. Click here to see Kate Middleton topless.

Also topless: Speaking of nude public figures, Ann Romney revealed that, while exploring the White House, she once walked in on former president George W. Bush getting a massage. In unrelated news, Vice President Biden has invited Mrs. Romney to “come take a tour of the Vice Presidential residence anytime she wants.”

 Kids are mean: First Lady Michelle Obama was apparently hit with some tough questions by elementary school kids at a Virginia YMCA. The most salient question that she could not answer: “Where will you live if Obama loses the election?”

Apple fails to impress: If you thought the new Iphone 5 was lame, the Ipod nano will definitely prove even more of a disappointment. Rather than turn it into a high-tech wristwatch, Apple decided to give the Ipod nano a complete makeover…for the fifth time.

And…your Youtube fix for the night

Apparently these guys couldn’t wait to get their hands on the new iPhone: