‘Bout that single life
Earlier today, we published a piece about being a college virgin. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, this article is about how having sex should be a personal decision, and there is nothing wrong with choosing to wait. I would like to expand this discussion to the idea of relationships in general.
Since middle school, there has been unending pressure on people to “text that cutie” or that “its sexy to make the first move.” In other words, Seventeen Magazine and Cosmopolitan have taught me from a young age to always keep my eye out for a potential hook-up/boyfriend/husband. Or, as my Jewish mother never fails to tell me before I leave the house in my sweats, “you never know when you’ll meet prince charming, now go put on some lipstick.”
Why does life have to be this way? Why is it that when I come to class in a kickass outfit people immediately ask me who I’m trying to impress? How come when I tell people I haven’t had a “serious college boyfriend” they tell me that “it will happen when you least expect it” or “what a shame, you’re such a sweet girl”? What if I don’t dress to impress others, but to build my own self-confidence? What if… I’m perfectly happy being single?
Wait, what? Single? And happy?
How come you never hear these two words in the same sentence? When I was younger and completely under the influence of mainstream media, I thought that my college years would be as depicted in the magazines: flirting with the “campus cutie” and in a constant shift between boyfriends. But I realized my freshman year that I didn’t want this, and I have been so much happier ever since.
To me, dating is time-consuming and stressful if it’s not with the perfect person. For others, dating is something they do casually for enjoyment. Not for me. And I am perfectly okay with that. Dating and the whole love game should be something that individuals figure out for themselves. Before you go on a date it is so easy to read “no fail first date techniques” on XYZ blog. But really, a “date” should just be effortlessly having fun with someone you know and genuinely really like. Relationships should develop naturally, not be forced under a conduct of “first date second date then third.” Then again, some people actually enjoy operating according to this norm, and seriously, kudos for them. But if you don’t like that method, you shouldn’t feel abnormal.
Some people are happy always dating or being in relationships – this post is not a judgment on them. This post is just me saying that you can have a very satisfying “love life” even if it solely consists of Pinkberry dates with your roommate.
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