Best worst impression
It’s late. You’re up. Tomorrow’s the first day of school and you may have the butterflies. Are you sitting in bed planning how to make a good impression? Here are some tips on how to make the best worst first impression on the first day of classes:
In a lecture
You are the last person in the lecture hall. It’s one of those big ones that have a loud door. The door slams and everyone looks at you as you walk in. You loudly make your way to an empty seat. Finding one in the middle of the middle row, you shuffle your way into the seat and hit everyone with your bag on the way in. Then your cell phone goes off. Your ring tone is “Blurred Lines.”
Extra points: Answer the call.
In office hours
You walk into the professor’s office without knocking. You sit down, pocket a handful of chocolates from the desk, and ask how you might apply the useless information to your real major, biometric consulting. The professor responds, “I’m not sure I understand the question.”
Extra points: Ask for her personal email and invite her to a “professor meal” in Ferris.
In a seminar
When the professor asks for the class’s comments, you raise your hand and discuss how the subject is related to a personal experience. It’s not related at all, but it makes you sound smart/well-traveled/well-read/like you know what you’re talking about. Then you eat an apple and spray everyone around you.
Bonus points: Put the apple core in the middle of the table when you’re done and make a bad Core pun.
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