Do you have all of your résumés sitting in a portfolio, printed on scented parchment, (I think it gives it a little something extra, don’t you think?) or are you still trying to figure out where the Career Fair is even being held?

Find out which kind of Spring Career Fair attendee you’ll be this Friday:

Fervent Freshman

• You still have your position as president of the Science Club listed on your résumé
• You run home and add everyone you meet on Linkedin even though you have fewer than 10 connections
• You call yourself a “first-year student” in hopes of sounding older
• Deciding what font size to use for your name on your résumé took around 45 minutes

Big League B.S.er (and I don’t mean Bachelor of Science)

• Your résumé describes your summer job mowing lawns as experience in “customer service”
• You’ve read about body language and mimic the other person’s movements in hopes of seeming charming
• You talk about your project in Gateway and call it “technical experience”
• Somewhere on your résumé you refer to yourself as “accomplished” or “ambitious” and have a title that includes “vice president” or “director”

Serious striver

• Your list of skills on your résumé includes Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, and/or Excel
• You tell people your biggest weakness is that “you work too hard” or that you “take on too much”
• You call yourself “conversational” in the language you took in high school
• If you’re in SEAS, you tell people about your love for humanities and talk about the one Core class you were forced to take. If you’re in CC, you talk about how you think the sciences are essential and discuss the class you took to fulfill your requirement.