I realize it’s way too early to be writing about Valentine’s Day, but I thought the fact that PrezBo will be the guest of honor at EC’s Faculty in Residence dinner this Feb. 14 was just too pregnant to ignore. That’s right—20 lucky students will get to celebrate the feast of St. Valentine with our fearless leader. And I hope to be one of them.

I know what you’re thinking: Who’d want to spend Valentine’s Day with PrezBo (Mrs. PrezBo excluded, I hope)?

Exactly.

If more than 20 students RSVP to the event, selection will come down to a “lottery system.” I’m banking on the majority of Columbia students having dates that night, or having no interest in the dinner (statistically, I think it’s probably safer to rely on the latter).

But why do I want to go? Well, aside from the fact that I’m single this year, I see a unique opportunity in the coincidence of the dinner and the holiday.

Not that kind of opportunity. Show some respect for the man.

No, I’m looking to use the dinner to get PrezBo to open up about affairs of the heart. Forget the First Amendment, killer hair, Ahmadinejad, or a fundamental lack of undergraduate community—we (the students in attendance at the dinner) can hear how he feels about that stuff from any number of official speeches or quotes in Spec. It would be much more interesting, I think, to watch Lee pour a glass of single malt and go all John Cusack on us.

Plus then I can write about that for next Tuesday, avoid having to come up with an idea for another post, and share his wisdom with the entire campus.

Because really if Columbia students need an education in anything it’s love, not constitutional law.

Neil FitzPatrick is a Spectrum opinion blogger. He’s just happy to be here, hopes he can help the ball club.