Happy Super Bowl Saturday Columbians!

Saturday mornings are always a mess. You groggily reach for your phone and realize that you’ve woken up at a ridiculously late hour. You are horrified to see the remains of Ham Del sloppy fries littered across your carpet. The bar stamps on your hands, much like Russian prison tattoos, recount your late-night misadventures. Worst of all, you realize that there is not much weekend left to put off homework. But fear not, for tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday! Instead of finishing assignments, why not spend your time planning a glorious evening of Americana, commercials, Boston-New York rivalry, and Madonna? The following are seven tips to make your Super Bowl experience the best possible.

1. Diversify everything from chip dip to your game-watching buddies. Bring at least three different kinds of dip. Creamy artichoke is a must. And make sure your Super Bowl group include both Big Blue and Pats fans—nothing spices up the experience like some friendly jeering and catcalling.
2. Commandeer your lounge. It’s inevitable that some of you will walk into your lounges and find out that group of friends from the other side of the floor got there first. Technically, you and your friends are welcome to join them. In reality, they’ve won and you now have to play the timeless “let’s ride the elevator until we find an empty lounge” game. Get there first.
3. Or venture downtown. Check out some of New York’s famous sports bars. For those of you hailing from New England, there are plenty of Boston bars in the East Village. The Big Apple is your oyster.
4. Suit up! Nothing is more depressing than the sight of a lounge filled with people in their pajamas, Orgo textbooks open on their laps. Sporting your team jersey is a must on this hallowed day. Seriously, dress for the occasion, guys.
5. Do your laundry. It’s a good way to be productive without missing out on the game. Get your buddies to fold laundry with you. If anything, I’m certain it will make for some interesting conversations (i.e. Um, why do you have my underwear?).
6. BONCHON CHICKEN! They serve the best wings in the city. A little pricey, but well worth it. Just ask Esquire.
7. Coordinate a dance for every touchdown your team makes. Nothing is more obnoxious or fun to watch.

Jonathan Lee is a junior majoring in Political Science. He is proud to hail from Queens, undoubtedly the best of the five boroughs.