Every year at Columbia I have had a close encounter with some kind of pest. I thought that this year might be the exception. WRONG.

Freshman year, Carman: I get off the elevator and am greeted in the lounge to news that I have a roach. Fantastic. In my room, my roommate and floormate pal are staring at the wall (It apparently ran up the wall and into the drawers). I start freaking out and yelling at floormate pal to take all the drawers out and dig through them. For some reason he felt really uncomfortable rustling through my t-shirts, which only made the high-pressure situation worse.

It was nowhere to be found, and we had to sleep knowing that it was probably inside our walls.

Sophomore year, Mcbain: My roommate is out and it’s around 10 at night as I work on a paper due the next day. Throughout the evening I had heard an unidentified scurrying sound, which I originally thought was a mouse. But I could never find the source, so decided it must be coming from next door. As the scurrying persisted, I decided to open my bottom desk drawer, just to be safe.

A MOUSE APPEARED. I slammed the drawer shut and stereotypically jumped onto my chair. My dad said that it wouldn’t crawl all over me in my sleep, and that my best bet was to try and kick it and probably kill it. Not following that advice, I had to haul over to Hartley in the pouring rain.

The mouse was caught on a sticky trap, which was then picked up by a different floormate pal. We put the trap in a box, carried the box outside, and poured olive oil all over the little guy until he freed himself. I slept on a futon and caught THE SECOND MOUSE the next day. He was freed in the same matter.

 Junior year, Symposium: I’m about to go get my laundry from the basement when I hear my roommate say, “Kaaaaatie…?” The tone did not sound good. I look up and there is a HUGE, FLYING, COCKROACH-LIKE CREATURE on the wall. Screaming ensued, and I went to get my laundry to escape.

A friend came up to see what was going on after hearing several cries of, “JUST KILL IT!!!!!” My roommate made the rookie mistake of taking her eyes off the bug, therefore a hunt ensued. Friend then killed it with a roll of toilet paper.

Lessons learned: If you are able-bodied and hear the telling yells of what is sure to be an infestation, please go help. We can get through this together.

Katie Crane is a junior in SEAS and should be given a humanitarian award for all the weird looks she got from passers-by whilst dumping olive oil on mice.