Just Ask Emily: So you think you want a boyfriend
As always, we begin by reminding you that you, too, may submit your questions, comments, concerns, and queries to Emily right here. And now, in this week’s installment of Just Ask Emily, one reader wonders if the hour is growing too late to find a boyfriend.
Dear Emily,
I am totally interested in having a boyfriend right now, but afraid of the time commitment it may involve. School work alone keeps me crazy busy, but at the same time, if I don’t start dating now, am I destined to be alone forever? After all, school work (and life) is always going to be busy. What should I do?
Sincerely,
I’ve Got To Straighten Out My Priorities
Dear I’ve Got To Straighten Out My Priorities,
Once, several years ago, I asked my uncle if he wanted to get married. And his response was that marriage is not like Europe. And I was like, “What is this analogy and why is it so weird?” And he was like, “I know that I want to go to Europe. I know what’s there, and I know I want to see it. But how can I say that I want to be married in the abstract? I want to get married to a person, if I meet the right person.”
A boyfriend, IGTSOMP, is also not like Europe. And if you want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend, then, yes, he will seem like a time commitment. If you go out and pull a Rihanna (just live your life), you will, I am sure, through clubs or classes, through friends or family, somehow, someway, at some point, find a boyfriend who will seem more like a wonderful individual whom you can’t wait to spend time with and less like a distraction from school work.
If you want to have a boyfriend right now, you can probably find one. There are dating sites and friends of friends and cute kids in Core classes. But it sounds to me that you want a boyfriend because you’re afraid of what you’ll become if you don’t have one. And all you will become, if you remember that relationships are not like Europe and keep your mind open to the possibility (not the necessity!) of dating, is a fulfilled young person who will be ready to date the right person when he, in all his individual glory, comes into your life.
Just ask my uncle—he’s celebrating his ten-year wedding anniversary in the fall.
Emily Tamkin is a Columbia College senior and a former Spec editorial page editor. This song plays in her head when she writes advice posts about love.
Well said!
Don’t worry, there are many guys here at Columbia who would likewise want a girlfriend :)
PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE . HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT something bad will hppean. UV STARED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY . SEND THIS TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME EILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS SCTUALLY WORKS
You always seem to he right on the mark with your advice/ input. Very well said!
can someone explain to me what this means?
It stands for “I’ve Got To Straighten Out My Priorities.”
I got my ex back with Surviving a Breakup: Getting Back Your Ex For Good by Matthew Mehra. Its available in the aamzon kindle store in ebook form and a printed book. It worked for my relationship and its pretty inexpensive also.
Spec singles! I DEMAND THIS FEATURE
I vote for Jim “Got My Calendar Lined Up Till Mid-July” Pagels.
I swear on everything I hold precious this comment was not me. But I like it!