Just Ask Emily: Say anything
As usual, we begin by reminding you to submit your questions, comments, concerns, and queries right here. Now, in this week’s installment of Just Ask Emily, one reader wants to say anything, and one reader wants to talk about personal space.
What do you do when you kind of know someone, but not really? At what point do you say hi? At what point does it become too late to introduce yourself when you’ve been sitting next to someone for a long time and talked but have never introduced yourself?
You know when you should say hi to that person? As soon as possible.
I would love to be able to write, “You should just do what I once did!” But instead, I will write: You should just do what someone once did to me. There is a girl who used to be in the dorm elevator at the same time as me all the time. She’s involved in Spec, too, but we worked in different sections, and I’d never really spoken to her. One day, she simply said something to the effect of, “Hi, this might sound kind of weird, but don’t I know you from somewhere? You do Spec, right?” This was a) a nice change from awkwardly smiling at people, and b) great of her, because we can now say hi and actually know whom we’re saying hi to.
And to answer that first part of your question: When in doubt, say hello. Do you ever hear people complaining about how friendly and salutation-happy people on this campus are? Didn’t think so.
My boyfriend leaves his stuff all over my room. I understand why he does it, because he lives off campus, but it’s starting to drive me crazy, which makes me feel bad. I’ve mentioned it before, but the stuff just stays there.
Dear Feeling Trashy,
First of all, remember that no matter what, you are not responsible for how you feel. You are only (and always) responsible for what you do with those feelings.
You may have mentioned this matter before, but you need to tell your boyfriend, politely but firmly, that you do not have the space in your one-person dorm room for all of his stuff, and that, while he doesn’t need to schlep it all off campus at once, at some point it does need to be schlepped. It’s not as though this is a space into which he’s eventually going to move, because it’s a dorm room. And your frustration over this is going to build up and carry over into other, and frankly more meaningful, parts of your relationship if you don’t pull a John Mayer and say what you need to say.
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