I know you wanted my perspective on the little discussed topic of #frankenstorm. I could just feel your eagerness readers, I really could. Unfortunately, I’m a complete hurricane noob and I probably would have just talked about this epic hurricane playlist Spec’s (handsome) city news editor compiled on Twitter.

Instead, I’ll talk about the Early Decision application (now due Nov. 5). The exponentially increasing number of questions I’ve received from high schoolers the past week can be divided into three categories: 1) I’m not sure if I want to apply early, 2) what the hell do I write about?, and 3) I’m not sure if I can get into Columbia.

I’ll cover the last question.

“OH MY GOD, THERE’S NO WAY I’M GETTING IN.”

To millions of desperate Ivy League wannabes:

^Often true, but usually not.

Here’s a story I suspect isn’t unique to me.

Far too often I’ve heard anxious high schoolers tell me they don’t think they can get in because they haven’t saved the planet or something. I remember when I went on my college tour, the tour guide was chatting about all the cool people at Columbia and how she lived next door to the national Scrabble champion, a self-made millionaire from playing poker, and a licensed pilot.

In the back of my mind, these people also were valedictorians, had near-2400s on their SATs and worked 12 hours a day. Rather than feeling inspired, I thought to myself, I can’t compare with these people.

And you know what, I can’t. But those people, probably by like literally a 99-1 ratio, are the exception at Columbia and not the norm. Instead, we at Columbia are a lot closer to dumbfucks than super geniuses. So if you’re wondering if your student body president position can compare with *insert impressive sounding title*, know that Columbia’s not that special (though the people here ARE great and smart (usually) and driven (50-50) and blah blah blah).

In short, I assert that we, as Columbians, are overrated (in this goddamn world).

Now join us!

Mikey Zhong is a Spectrum opinion blogger and a senior. This was his best attempt at being a motivational speaker.