Blitz’d Thoughts: Straight A’s
Last semester, 8 percent of Columbia students received a GPA of 4.0 or above. These are the quick thoughts the Spec Opinion panel provided.
Caroline Blosser: “On the 8 percent of Columbia students who are intelligent and high achieving—I’m shocked and outraged. This is really a surprise. This is also sarcasm.”
Neil FitzPatrick: “In unrelated news, 92 percent of Columbia students reported increased feelings of inadequacy early this semester.”
Raphael Pope-Sussman: “Right, and the Pope is still Catholic. Eight percent makes sense, based on what we know about GPAs. Now, on to a real issue: the weather.”
Thomas Rhiel: “The released GPAs confirmed my deep suspicion that the vast majority of Columbia students don’t get straight A’s.”
Emily Tamkin: “Your transcripts are like dress pants—they look sharp!
(I assume, anyway. Both that you got good grades before this semester and that your dress pants are tailored properly.)”
The Editorial Board: “Instead of causing panic, the Editorial Board thinks that Columbia’s GradeLeaks should lead students to ponder the value of a Columbia education.”
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