This is the third post in the series “My Bucket of Crap List.” Check back each week as Nuriel flushes out the truth on Columbia’s lavatories.

For this week’s installment, I went right to the comments of the first in the series. Near the top, from commenter “6^th Floor Schermerhorn” I got a one word proclamation: “Gloryholes.” Intrigued, I visited that men’s room today, but did not find anything of the sort. In my defense, my gloryhole-finding skills just aren’t up to snuff.

Feeling unsatisfied, I vowed to find another bathroom in that unpronounceable building worthy of profile. I found one on the 8^th floor of the Shhhhermermerhorn Extension.

Tech specs: three stalls, three sinks, two urinals, two enormous mirrors and one window from heaven.

Gloria in Excelsis Deo

The way the light flows in from the east-facing window and shines off the pristine porcelain is hard to put into words. It’s perhaps the most inviting bathroom experience I’ve ever had. I tried to rationally convince my body that I had to go, but that unfortunately didn’t work. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the view out the window and the breeze of cold air that came in.

Is this heaven?

If you’re ever a male in need of a bathroom in Skuhrrrmerhorn, make the trip up for this one. It’s extremely clean, absolutely invigorating, and while there are no gloryholes, if you’re ever in need of two eight-foot-long mirrors, you’re in luck.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, please take me to the most glorious stall."