116 Columbia Traditions (Part one)
First-years, Orientation is but the first of many weeks you’ll have here at Columbia, and there are so many things that you’re going to want–nay, need!—to do before you graduate. 116 things, to be exact.
Over the next five days, we’re going to be posting items from our list (compiled and revised through the ages, just for you) of the 116 things to do before you graduate. The first four days will have 23 items, and the fifth will share 24 pieces of wisdom. Read on for the first 23. Then get up, get out, and get on it!
1. Enter the 116th Street gates and sing “Roar, Lion, Roar” on the first night of orientation.
2. Think your OL is an OG. Realize later she was only OK.
3. Make a spare key with an old credit card and an X-Acto knife (VingCard dorms only).
4. Pull an all-nighter with the rest of your floor studying for the Lit Hum final.
5. Eat a slice of Koronet pizza after a long night drinking. Return another day to discover it’s inedible sober.
6. Go to Orgo Night.
7. Go to a World Leaders Forum event and shake hands with a foreign president, preferably a brutal autocrat.
8. Go to a fireside chat. Eat mini-burgers and chocolate chip cookies in PrezBo’s living room.
9. Explore the tunnels.
10. Watch a sunrise over (not in) Morningside Park after pulling an all-nighter.
11. Pretend to be interested in a club to get free swag. Get spammed for the next four years.
12. Get sexiled. Sleep in the lounge.
13. Watch the Varsity Show all four years. Notice repetition of tired Barnard jokes. Also GS jokes. And SEAS jokes.
14. Take a class in Hamilton. Miss the first 15 minutes of every meeting waiting for the elevator.
15. Go to the campus tree-lighting and Yule Log Ceremony.
16. Take the Staten Island Ferry at night.
17. Lock yourself out of your room while in a towel and flip-flops. Proceed to Hartley or the security desk (normal people only).
18. Lock yourself out of your room while dressed. Borrow towel from floormate, undress in his/her room, and put on towel. Borrow cell phone and call Hartley or the security desk to say you are locked out and in a towel (lazy bums only).
19. Protest something.
20. Counter-protest something.
21. Get stuck on the shaft. Make lame “shaft” jokes 10 times a day for the rest of the year.
22. Sled down Low Steps on a tray from Hewitt.
23. Forget to transfer at 96th Street and end up at Central Park North.
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