I am going to die.
That’s probably not the most motivating mantra to be thinking when you’ve just signed up for the 2013 round of CU Assassins. But it is true.
And it’s all thanks to you, Columbia, that sometime very soon in the next few weeks, I’ll have a water gun at my back and I’ll be screaming for mercy.
Columbia, you’ve taught me that once, 7-day erections were possible (oh, those good old days).
Because of you, I’ve plowed through the indecipherable William S. Borroughs. I can even recite the categorical imperative in reverse.
Elizabeth Sedran brings you the highlights from this week’s General Studies Student Council meeting.
- A new way to party-plan: GSSC broke down the order of their event-planning forms. For the sake of transparency, members said, all events will now first be proposed with an Event Idea Form. Then, once approved, an Event Proposal Form with cost estimates and an A-form to request funds will be submitted. After the event, an Event Debrief Form will be used to record what happened and leave a record for later years. No events will be planned without this process.
- Funding acronyms streamline process: There was a discussion about the meeting between the Joint Council Cosponsorship Committee and Activities Board at Columbia. Due to restructuring, the Activities Board at Columbia (ABC) no longer wants to devote the time or funds to handle funding appeals from student groups. There’s a large overlap between ABC and the Joint Council Co-Sponsorship applications as it is, and ABC would hand over the entire appeal process but assist in screening requests so unreasonable appeals wouldn’t be made. GSSC would support this change, but would give less money to ABC as a result. More »
Those who attended the Varsity Show’s West End Preview got a taste of what the vivacious cast has in store for the 119th installment of one of Columbia’s most beloved traditions. The cast performed twice the evening of Feb. 19 at Havana Central.
The night’s schmaltzy opening number paid homage to Columbia and to Broadway’s vaudeville roots, setting the satirical tone for V119’s over-the-top antics. What followed were scenes that riffed on everything from housing to Hostess cakes (Twinkies) to Professor Emlyn Hughes, with Barnard and PrezBo jokes thrown in intermittently for good measure. More »
For the last three years, I have sat myself down every Thursday night and given myself a stern talking-to. I will have all my homework done by Friday, I’ve told myself, so that I can do fun things all weekend. I’ll go down to the High Line, visit my friends on the Lower East Side, walk across the Williamsburg Bridge, have a picnic in Battery Park.
After yesterday’s bizarre performance in the Frontiers of Science lecture from physics professor Emlyn Hughes, the university has issued a response saying that administrators will review the incident. See the full statement from University spokesperson Robert Hornsby below:
Universities are committed to maintaining a climate of academic freedom, in which the faculty members are given the widest possible latitude in their teaching and scholarship. However, the freedoms traditionally accorded the faculty carry corresponding responsibilities. Columbia’s Faculty Handbook states that “In conducting their classes, faculty should promote an atmosphere of mutual tolerance, respect, and civility [and] should confine their classes to the subject matter covered by their courses.” While one must exercise caution in judging excerpts from a lecture or short presentations from an entire course outside of their full context, the appropriate academic administrators are currently reviewing the facts of this particular presentation in quantum mechanics.
Hungry for a sandwich from Café 212 but don’t want to wait in line? Don’t worry—now, there’s an app for that.
Columbia Dining has partnered with Tapingo, an online food ordering system, to allow students to order food and drinks from Café 212 on their phones. The first 200 people to sign up for the app, released today, will get a free cup of coffee at Café 212.
The majority of the menu will be available for online order, and the app accepts all major credit cards and Flex. After placing your order via the app, you can pick it up in a designated area next to the cash register.
Kristen LaGrua, Manager for Events and Communications, said that if the system is successful, it will expand to other campus dining cafés.
“It’s kind of a test-and-learn right now,” she said. “Tapingo will help eliminate lines and wait times, so it’s more of a grab-and-go type of thing.”
Hamilton Deli and Uni Café and Deli are already on Tapingo, but Café 212 will be the first campus dining place to become available on the app.
Rakhi Agrawal brings you the highlights from last night’s Columbia College Student Council meeting:
- Class updates: 2013’s class sweatshirts arrived last week; 2016 is gearing up to make class apparel orders for shirts, hoodies, and sports bras with the tagline “Support 2016!”; and 2014 delivered Insomnia Cookies and screened “Skyfall” over the weekend. The 2015 council, headed by president Loxley Bennett, CC ’15, will be hosting a series of one-hour events this week in conjunction with the Center for Student Education to expose students to various categories of academic advising. More information can be found on Facebook or on the CSA website.
In this week’s issue of The Eye, Lily Fishman discusses the benefits and drawbacks of self-publishing.
In order to find some of the craziest titles ever posted, I left behind the comfortable world of canonized literature we read in Lit Hum and the Nine Ways and journeyed into the world of self-published books at Lulu.com, an online self-publishing company.
When I saw Owning and Training a Male Slave by Ingrid Bellemare, I realized I really wasn’t in Kansas anymore.
Owning and Training a Male Slave claims to be a “real life training manual,” and Bellemare advocates “slavery as the only true way to find lasting balance in a relationship.” As Bellemare says, “having a slave is like having an automatic dishwasher: set it up and make it do the work.” At that point, why even bother with a “relationship”? Just get a dishwasher!
Second only to the deeply disturbing absurdity of Owning and Training a Male Slave is You Just Might Be “That Guy”: 40 Guys Who Grind My Gears by Jamin Williams, which professes to take a “look at the 40 most annoying dudes on the planet.” More »
In this week’s C.U. in Bed, a reader asks about giving a friend a blowjob, and another reveals her fear about having sex for the first time.
I have a friend and I’d really like to just offer him oral sex. I’m not sure if he’d be receptive and I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship. We’re both gay and single. I feel like it would help us be closer. What should I do?
After a weekend of deliberations, a committee has voted for rapper Lubeen to take the second opener spot for (SIN)esthesia, the opening concert of the first Columbia Music Festival.
Earlier this weekend, an online vote determined that Standard Delivery, a rock band composed of Jonah Belser CC ’16, Prajit Gopal CC ’16, Linan Qiu CC ’16, Alex Roth CC ’16, and Ethan Kogan CC ’13, would open for the Columbia Music Festival. Better known by stage name Lubeen, John Lubeen Hamilton, CC ’13, has been rapping on campus for a few years, and received a large portion of the popular vote in the Battle of the Bands online poll. More »