Author Archive
Apply to be the next sex advice columnist!
If you enjoyed C.U. in Bed this semester or have ever considered writing about sex, I’ll be handing over the baton as the resident sex advice columnist, which means one thing: Spectrum is looking for someone to fill that position next semester. Now you can be the next sex advice columnist.
What this position entails:
- You get to write about sex! Woo!
- But actually, you get to write a 600- to 800-word weekly post answering 2-3 sex-related questions
- You choose the questions you answer, which people will send in through a Google Form (like the one we used this semester)
- Must be comfortable talking about sex without anonymity
- Must be non-judgmental toward a variety of sexual desires, practices, sexual orientations, or gender identities
- Writes in a tone that is engaging but also informative. We want a fun but no-bullshit advice-giver!
- Rocks at empathy and understanding
- Must be good with deadlines
“I’m a girl—and I’ve never made out with another girl. How do I start?”
This is the twelfth and last installment of C.U. in Bed.The author will be graduating in less than three weeks but we want C.U. in Bed to go on. Want to be the next sex advice columnist? Stay tuned on Spectrum for an upcoming post on how to apply.
In this installment of C.U. in Bed, a first reader who is female wants to know how to find girls to kiss, and a second reader wants to get over her body-image anxiety and insecurity so she can enjoy sex.
Dear Andrea,
I am a girl and in the past few months I have found myself having crushes on other females. Nothing major, it’s actually mostly physical but it’s kind of got me wondering more and more frequently what it would be like to at least kiss another girl. Unfortunately, I am utterly clueless when it comes to even finding guys to kiss, so I am even more clueless about how to approach this situation. Any ideas?
— Clueless and Confused
Six lessons online trolls taught me
As all three of my regular Spec columns come to an end, so does my relationship with Spec comment sections.
Yes, I know, you’re not supposed to read them—but I did. And, particularly for my sex column (plug: check out the last installment this Sunday), some of the comments were, shall we say, a little…vicious? Mean-spirited? Made me feel like absolute shit?
But seriously—every Sunday night, I’d barely get work done because I obsessed over every awful jab, every downvote or upvote on each single comment. I eventually got into a pattern of gripping my chair and trying to mentally steel myself before clicking “comments” on every post I wrote.
It almost never ended well.
“I can’t come again. How do I work up an erection again for her pleasure?”
Before we begin the eleventh installment of C.U. in Bed, we’d like to remind you to submit your questions to this Google form. Don’t worry, it’s all anonymous.
In this installment of C.U. in Bed, a reader wonders how to continue making his girlfriend happy when he’s done cumming. Another reader asks why she doesn’t want to have sex with a guy who fits her type.
Dear Andrea,
When my girlfriend and I have sex, we both really enjoy ourselves. She cums, I cum, cumming abounds! However, when I’m done, I’m really done and she is only-sorta-done. What is to be done about maintaining an erection post-orgasm to continue pleasuring her?
— Long Haul
The Orgasm Edition
Before we begin the tenth installment of C.U. in Bed, we’d like to remind you to submit your questions to this Google form. Don’t worry, it’s all anonymous.
In this installment of C.U. in Bed, both readers have qualms about their orgasm habits. One reader who has recently become sexually active wonders why he can orgasm on his own—but not with his partners. A second reader questions whether or not it’s alright to fake orgasm every once in a while.
Dear Andrea,
I’m a queer dude who just started having sexual relationships fairly recently, and I’ve noticed a kind of frustrating and disturbing pattern—no matter how much fun I’m having or how much I’m attracted to the guy, it’s really difficult for me to orgasm. Even if I’m just masturbating with them! I get really really close but never quite there. I can get off just fine on my own, though…what’s happening?
— On Edge
Allison Margolin, CC ’99, writes Hustler Magazine cover story on weed
This month—the month of 4/20—the pornographic Hustler Magazine published a cover story about a rise in prosecutions on medical marijuana dispensaries, and it was co-written by none other than a former Columbian.
Meet Allison Margolin, CC’99, and a former Spectator editorial page editor on the 121st Managing Board. Also a graduate of Harvard Law School, Margolin now partners with J. Raza Lawrence—who co-wrote the article with her—at Margolin and Lawrence, a law firm for criminal defense and civil litigations. After successfully fighting for defendants in several medical marijuana cases, she has been nicknamed “L.A.’s Dopest Attorney.”
A little jealous of her street cred and eager to find out more, I talked to her over the phone about Mary Jane, Hustler, Obama, and the politics behind medical marijuana prosecutions.
Varsity Show tickets on sale now!
The highly anticipated V119 will premiere in just two weeks!
Don’t get sold out—stop by the TIC or click here to secure tickets for this year’s show. Performances are at 8 p.m. on May 3 and May 4, and 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. on May 5 in Roone Arledge Auditorium.
Why we still need women’s colleges
In the wee hours of morning, I read Lanbo Zhang’s column on why Barnard and Columbia should merge. It was honest. It was upfront. And it was incredibly controversial. A Facebook event in response to it has already been created.
Though I understand why people have reacted to it strongly in the comments, there hasn’t been much respectful dialogue, and at this point, all sides are getting lost in rhetoric and emotions. What I want to do here is to try to provide an opportunity for respectful dialogue.
What strikes me the most is that the column ignores the value of women’s colleges. And Lanbo is definitely not the only person—I’ve had multiple conversations with fellow students or seen multiple comment threads in which readers think that women’s colleges no longer have reason to exist, that once Columbia started accepting women, that somehow invalidated Barnard’s existence.
So if Barnard students do go a lot of Columbia classes, do go to the same restaurants, and do essentially still interact with men, what is the point of maintaining Barnard as the women’s college we know it as?
Because the glass ceiling still exists. Because sexism still exists. Because gender inequality exists.
“I’m a virgin. Do I need to disclose that to him?”
Before we begin the ninth installment of C.U. in Bed, we’d like to remind you to submit your questions to this Google form. Don’t worry, it’s all anonymous.
In this installment of C.U. in Bed, a reader faces a moral dilemma in whether or not to tell her first potential partner that she’s never had sex before. A second reader wonders if oral sex can ever be pleasant, or if she’s doomed to never like it.
Dear Andrea,
I’m a woman, and a virgin. I wish I was more secure, but I’m embarrassed about it and keep it a secret. I think I’m going to have sex soon. Would it be wrong not to tell the guy before it happens? When and how would I even tell him without making things awkward? Do I have a responsibility to let this other person know, even though I don’t consider the “first time” to be all that significant, and would rather not draw attention to it?
— Beginner
Bacchanal to require CUIDs for admission
Only CUID holders will be granted admission to this spring’s Bacchanal concert, the Bacchanal committee said two days ago on its Facebook page. The committee is limiting the size of the crowd for public safety reasons. The announcement came after ilovefreeconcerts.com reported that the concert, headlined by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, would be open and free to the public.
The Bacchanal committee declined to comment.
Read Bacchanal’s Facebook post from yesterday after the jump.