Spoiler-free Varsity Show must-knows
What’s one more MoHi shocker? The 117th annual Varsity Show, “Another Scandal!” kicked off with the first of four showings tonight in Roone Arledge Auditorium. We’re supplying you with a VShow cheat sheet of what to expect from this year’s performances. Check out Monday’s Spectator for a full review. In the meantime, take a glimpse of V117 after the jump.
- Arrive no later than a half hour before the performance is scheduled to start to secure seats—go earlier if you can, we arrived at 7:10 p.m. (50 minutes before the curtain call) and there was no line. The line can get aggressive closer to show time (see pic below).
- Balcony seats have a different entrance (and different line) than groundfloor seats. To access balcony seating, head to the second floor of Lerner.
- The show was two hours long, running from 8:15 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. with a 15 minute intermission between Act I and II.
- Security was strictly enforcing priority seating, so whatever tricks you had planned to sneak up to the front row probably won’t work.
- Songs were performed at stage sets of the following venues: ADP, The Heights, and John Jay Dining Hall.
- Mini-spoiler alert: Expect references to a vast range of notorious Columbia characters, including but not limited to Campo Mike, The Columbia Five (and that undercover cop), and Sabor.
- SPOILER ALERT! One character quips, “Butler 409 smells like kimchee.”
Want more? Check out this mini-list below taken from the program of some plot lines, jokes, and characters that the Varsity Show decided not to run.
Butt-leaks: A wiki-leak data dump housed in Butler
Ways to murder PrezBo: poisonous running shorts, bed bug infested toupee, fireside chat exploding log
AEPi Altoids: Curiously Strong
“I can do anything: I’m a Columbia advisor! …Just kidding. You have no idea how low the bar is for this job.”
The Squirrel Whisperer
GS veteran who runs a halal cart
Charlie Sheen as top Bwog commenter, Mayor of Bwog
Person who goes into Butler at the beginning of the show, emerges at the end
Girl who tells everyone she is from New York but is actually from Westchester
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